Val and Randy at the Hanes Mall

Val and Randy hanging out at Hanes mall. I got this picture because I was the only person who knew she was with the dark sunglasses on.

Val Myers and Dave Bird from Turner South's Junkin'

Kelly and I went to Winston-Salem today to meet the hosts of Turner South's Junkin'-Val Myers and Dave Bird. Val and Dave were both very cool and friendly and we had a great time bugging them for photos.

Return of the Racket

The racket has returned. This photo was sent in by Dr. Weeks. The thing I love about this photo is the picture of J.D Salinger hanging up behind S. When did we stop thinking like this. Maybe we carry a picture of Salinger inside us now.

Carl Wilson Update

The staff of the Fred Hotline caught up with Carl Wilson and asked him if he could ID the woman in this photo standing next to him. He had this to say:

"Yes, as a matter of fact I can, reluctantly, ID that woman. Her name is Ivana Tules, an ice princess from hell who took me for all of the free lunches and cheap beer I willingly handed over.

A perpetual tease, the last I saw of her was a slender pale leg as she slipped out the window onto the fire escape of my second floor brownstone on Walker Avenue early one morning in the spring of 1988. With her went my meal card (three punches left), the five dollars and odd change leftover from the previous night's drunken pinball marathon at College Hill and my favorite black INXS t-shirt."

Bo's Meats and Things

I know it's a little soon to be hinting about Christmas presents, but something from Bo's Meats and Things would be great.

Tiny Dancers

For the sake of alliteration, why could it be "Tiny Tina" and Lucious Lacy?

This One's for Spike

This one is for my mother-in-law who is always asking me to get a picture of all three of our cats sitting together. This is the best I could do without using duct tape.(Watch out George is going to burn you with his laser eyes.)

Zelda and Her Mother Enjoy the Pool

Dr. S. Wright Weeks with baby Zelda.

How COULD you? How could you put my ass up there in a bikini for the entire world to see? If you wanted to put a picture up, my God, you must have hundreds there! I mean, it's wonderful that Zelda has made her world-wide debut, but Randy, THAT picture of ME? (Carson's sitting in the floor in here saying, "Why do you keep making those faces?" Why, indeed!)

Congratulations to Kevin and Laura

Congratulations are in order for 1998-99 Greensboro Jaycee President Kevin von der Lippe and Laura Wood as they became engaged on Friday, August 19, 2005 at 7:23 pm at a romantic bed and breakfast in Wilmington, NC.The couple met at a Greensboro Jaycee Dinner Club meeting 53 weeks ago. Kevin says that Laura is now in charge.

Neal Boortz Book Signing

Here's my one alotted Neal Boortz photo.

Tigger walks into a Bar

So an angel, a nun and Tigger walk into a bar...

Hot Chicks on the Hotline

As far as captions, I've got nothing. It never hurts to have a couple of hot chicks on your blog to keep people coming back.

Neal Boortz Book Signing

I went to the Neal Boortz booking signing held at the Friendly Center Barnes & Noble on Sunday, Aug. 14. As an English major at UNCG I attended many book signings and readings, but this was very different.

For one thing, there were a lot of rules. You had to pay for your book in advance, which I can understand, and you had to have a colored sheet of paper in order to stand in line. You also had to have your book flap turned to the correct page and we were all instructed that there would be signing only, "no personalizations". Neal Boortz himself explained that it would take too long to do that and he had a 6:15pm flight home.

As far as photographs-You could take a picture of the author while he was signing your book in an impersonalized way. This photo could not be taken with others. There was an armed police officer there to make sure these rules were followed and to prevent and gun play. (Never seen a police man at a book signing.)

I was luck to get a purple slip of paper which meant that there were only 200 people ahead of me.

It was called a "Discussion & Signing", but I didn't hear any discussion. Boortz came out right on time at 3:00pm and started working the crowd. He said if your buying a copy for President Bush, don't bother-he already has a copy. He told a story about a lady that contacted him that had just returned from a private tour of Air Force One and she said she saw a copy of The FairTax Book on the president's desk.

Do you remember the scene in A Christmas Story when Ralphie goes to see santa? That's how it was with me and Boortz. I wanted an hour and a half and when I got up there I froze. I wanted to tell him I enjoyed his show or ask him a question about his plan's prebate, but nothing. I handed him my two books, he scribbled in them and I moved away.

I'm not sure if I'm sold on the Fair Tax plan or not. I think it would be fun to drive to Washington, DC and march on the mall.

Poop!

Poop!

Art from a Can

Just because it was done with a spray can doesn't mean it's not art.

Fred Hotline Staff Removes Offensive Post

The staff of the Fred Hotline would like to apologize to Mr. Robby B. for the post on Wed. April 13, 2005 that showed Mr. B passed out in a toliet stall. He did not feel that this portrayal was fair as you can tell from the following email.

"Dude,

I was browsing the Hotline and saw myself laying in the urinal and boy it brought back some great memories. I miss wallowing in other peoples urine after a hard night of drinking. Can you come over tomorrow and piss in my floor so I can relax in it for old times sake?

Thanks pal,
Robby"

We would like to state for the record that the photo was removed minutes after receiving this email and that no one from the FH staff took Mr. B up on his offer to "piss on this floor."

Here we see Scott making sure our collection of putt-putt and Arby's cups get clean. Look at all that food on the shelf behind him. How did we manage to stay so fat? 

Ah, to be young, drunk and sunburned. 

Robby Bryant Online

Go check out Robby Bryant's homepage- www.thebryantsonline.com

Create Your Own Caption Contest 

Dave Walkerman Chilling with Broken Wing

Dave Walkerman has a cast on his wrist in almost every photo I have of him. Here was see him in his stone washed jeans. Circa 1990. As I remember he was in Winston-Salem to go to court. Pony Express, witness for the defense or something. As I remember he never took the stand.

Birth Announcement Correction

Birth Announcement Correction- Logan Michael Miles was born 11 pounds and 2 ounces-measuring 23 1/4 inches long. (Not 23 pounds as was ealier reported.)

Gumby Attacks Greensboro

Gumby attacks down town Greensboro moments after the beer and wine sales were cut off at the ball park.

Birth Announcement

Mike and Lisa Miles are pleased to announce the arrival of their son Logan Michael Miles on July 7, 2005 at 2:53 pm. He weighed 23 1/4 pounds and was 11 inches long.

nonsequitur

I hate when you ask someone how they're doing and instead of just saying "good" or "fine", they yell out something like, "I'm fantastic!" They say it like they're trying to convince themself too. It's like they just got back from seeing Zig Ziglar.

I was slightly upset by the body glitter on the chest and neck of the 58 year-old women taking my order at McDonalds. It appeared as if she had attempted to wash it off before beginning her shift. I wondered what possible reason she would have for putting it on to begin with.

I make it a point to only eat food that matches the shirt I'm wearing.

If your going to give me a baby picture, the back of the photo better look like a baseball rookie card. I want stats. Name, date of birth, parents and nickname.

He said, "son you've got the face for radio, but not the voice." So I got in my machine and I drove away.

"For faster service-Please have your money ready". Yeah, I'm the weak link in this chain. I'm the one slowing every down.

As I left the fast food place the retarded, sunburned fry-cook with a mouth full of fries said, "It's one of those days, isn't it?" I said, "yeah" without making eye contact.

Don't put ugly babies in advertisements.

Legend of Chief Snow Cloud

I took a trip with my mother and sister to Tennessee. While driving in the mountains, we needed to stop for gas. I began filling the tank as the ladies went into the store to use the restroom and buy snacks. As I was getting the gas I looked over and saw a man dressed like an indian and thought that this would make a great photo.

I quickly finished topping off the tank and then asked the brave if he would pose for a photo with my mom and sister. When they came out of the store they were surprised that I had made a new friend so fast and they were not sure what I had in mind.

I told them to pose with the chief. He stepped between them and smiled. He then pointed up and spoke only two words, "snow cloud".

We all looked to the sky to see if we too could see the snow clouds forming above us. We were impressed with his knowledge of nature. I gave him a couple of bucks and off we went. We wanted to get down the mountain before the snow.

As we pulled away I asked my family if they enjoyed having their photo taken with a real indian chief? My mother said these words I will never forget, "That man touched my boob!"
At last the secret of Chief Snow Cloud was revealed. And to think I pay the guy to feel up my mom.

Can you pick out the bad girl in this photo? 

Greensboring has a New Voice for Singles-Daniel Richardson

Recently, Forbes.com rated Greensboro last on its list of the top 40 "Best Cities for Singles". There has been a lot said in the local media about this rating and about a visit from Forbes' reporter Lacey Rose to Greensboring.

She was here to see for herself if our sleepy little town really was a bad place for singles or if perhaps we have been given a bad rap.

The Fred Hotline would like to complete this story by revealing the true local hero that may have "single"-handedly changed Lacey Rose's mind.

FH-How did you first come in contact with Lacey Rose?

Daniel Richardson-Lacey found my speed dating website,http://www.pre-dating.com/speeddating/GRN.php, and called to see if I would be hosting any of these events during her visit to Greensboro. While the answer to that question was no, I mentioned that I also have a concierge and personal assistant business - www.triadconcierge.com - which might be of significant help to her while she was here in terms of itinerary planning, transportation, guide services, etc.

FH-Was the purpose of her visit really to see just how bad the single scene is here in Greensboro?

The purpose of Lacey's visit was to prove the Forbes rankings right OR prove the rankings wrong in terms of the singles scene here in Greensboro. Please remember that Greensboro finished dead last in the 2005 Forbes rankings (40th out of 40 large metro areas) of the best cities to live in if you are single.

FH-It has been suggested that her view of Greensboro may have been different if she "had been left to her own devices". What's your take on this?

Who can say what Lacey's experience would have been under those conditions? The exciting news is that Lacey got to see some of the best singles venues and activities that Greensboro has to offer, and she had a GREAT, GREAT time. I think it is worth mentioning too that Lacey lives and works in Manhatten, has lived in Paris and Madrid, and still thought Greensboro has a vibrant and rocking singles scene.

FH-"Leaving people to their own devices", Is that any way to treat a guest?

Yes, spending all that time with me and my friends and the Mayor would take its toll on anyone! ;>)

FH-You did Greensboro a big favor,acting as ambassador, yet you got little credit. Please define your role in this visit.

I crafted almost all of Lacey's itinerary (except for the blind date with the Match.com guy), acted as her driver and tour guide, and made sure that she met the people she needed to meet - the Mayor for example.

FH-How did your company help promote Greensboring?

Actually, my company - Piedmont Triad Concierge - helped drive the stake in the heart of GREENSBORING and fuel the subsequent rise from the ashes of GREENSBOOMING at least with respect to Lacey's experience.

FH-Please tell our Hotline readers about the many different events you attended in the two days of Lacey's visit.

Lacey and I attended the Grasshoppers game on Thursday night, which is where I introduced her to Mayor Keith Holliday. He spent the first 5 innings of the game talking with her about the city. We then left Lacey and her blind date from Match.com alone to enjoy the rest of the game. Afterwards, Lacey, her date, and I finished the evening at Solaris Restaurant in downtown Greensboro before I dropped Lacey off at her hotel.

I picked up Lacey on Friday and took her to Pyramids for a morning work-out. She loved Pyramids and especially impressed that they offer Pilates Performer classes as part of their regular work-out schedule. Then, she and I toured UNCG and the Tate Street area before heading downtown to meet-up with Mayor Holliday.

Lacey and I spent the entire afternoon with the Mayor as he gave us a walking tour of central downtown and then the three of us piled into the Cadillac Sedan DeVille I had rented to see the rest of downtown and other some areas of the city. We said good-bye to the Mayor circa 6pm, and I dropped Lacey back at her hotel to get ready for our evening out in the 'Boro. I have to add here that Mayor Holliday was just terrific and represented Greensboro extraordinarily well during the entire time that he was with Lacey and I.

Our evening out consisted of dinner with friends (the vaunted "posse of 8") at MUCH in downtown Greensboro, after dinner drinks at Hemingway's Martini Bar, a foray into the loft at Natty Greene's, and a trip to Heaven (the rooftop section of MUCH) to end the evening with dancing and drinks in a great friend's VIP area. I would add also that Joey Medaloni treated us like kings while we at MUCH and then in Heaven. John and Jeff over at Hemingway's were fabulous as well.

FH- The Hotline staff heard you on the 101.1 Brad and Britt show. What was that like?

Brad and Britt are great. BIG thanks to them for putting me on the air and giving me a chance to offer some thoughts and insights on Lacey's visit to our community at large.


FH- Do you feel that the local media has done enough to tell your side of this story?

I had a great interview with Melissa Turner of the News & Record, and I think that Melissa is a good reporter and that she saw value in writing about the story so to speak. The News & Record seems to have chosen not to run that story, but I hope that it gets told some day in one local media outlet or another.

FH- It seems like Action Greensboro may be getting some credit. Is that fair?

I disagree that Action Greensboro is getting credit for the absolutely fantastic article that Lacey wrote for Forbes.

I think that Jenny Stokes was asked for her opinion on the story and on the rankings vis-a-vis her role with the Young Professionals side of Action Greensboro and that her quote has appeared in print.

Jenny has worked very hard over the years to accomplish some great results with the Young Professionals group, and I am happy to see her being recognized as a community leader.

FH- Is there anything else you'd like to add?

As for what I would add, I would emphasize Lacey's comments about Greensboro proving the Forbes rankings wrong and that we should say good-bye to Greensboring and hello to Greensbooming. Lacey is a representative of Forbes Magazine and - in my opinion - IS Forbes Magazine with respect to this story, and I am taking her words as a retraction of all the negative stuff Forbes has said about our singles scene over the last 5 years.
THAT'S THE STORY HERE and what our media should be talking about in my opinion. Forget the rankings and forget about improving our numerical position next year. We have our breakthrough moment! Let's accept it, embrace it, celebrate it! ROCK ON, GREENSBOOMING!

Fred Hotline Goes to Davetown

I want to say thank you to my great friend Dave Walker(man) for picking up one of my post and putting it on DaveTown (Or as I like to say, "the blog you should be reading".)


QUALITY FRED HOTLINEThursday, July 28, 2005

My bestest buddy Randy Harris has a blog called The Fred Hotline. It's an extension of a one page flyer he used to publish sporadically when we were in college. It was done in the "glue stick and cut-out clippings" media that is so unfortunately neglected these days (darn kids and their computers; when I was a kid . . .).

He posts random observations, funny spoofs, general wackiness, and lots of pictures from when we were at UNCG in the 1980's (which, if you don't know us, might not be amusing to you, but if you do, it's a source of neverending amusement).Since Megan of "Open Up My Head" wants me to post more, and since it's so early I couldn't possibly be coherent or funny until I've had a few more cups of coffee, I'll just ripoff Randy's post from yesterday. It's worth ripping off, too. It's some of his finest prose. Randy's a poet and a visual artist primarily, but he's also a great writer. He's truly a renaissance man; in addition to his artistic talents, he is an accomplished miniature golfer (winner of many titles, but now retired), and is a black belt as well.

But I digress.Here's some vintage Randy:

Scenes from a Prostate Exam

I had to go for my yearly check-up the other day. I was going to have x-rays and blood work-the whole nine yards. I had to fast for 15 hours before the office visit. That always makes me light-headed.The one thing I was worried about was the needle. All I could think about was the needle. I completely forgot about the "finger".

The PA starts the check up by asking me questions. "Are you dizzy?" she asked. "Yes, I haven't had any thing to eat or drink in 15 hours. Yes, I'm dizzy.""Have you had memory loss?". This one made me laugh. How would I know?

I had a great visit with the doctor. It was great until he had to check my prostate. With all the advances in medical science your telling me the best way to test this is with a finger?

He put on a rubber glove, but I'm pretty sure he left on his class ring. It could have been a Super Bowl ring.He told me to "assume the position". I was thinking, could you remind me what the position is again. I think I blacked out last time. (Maybe I've had memory loss.)

I've got an idea, how about giving me another finger to bite down on. In western movies they always give the cowboy a shot of whiskey and a stick to bite down on. (Ask me now if have blurred vision.)

Assume the position. He says it like it's a yoga class. It's like he's teaching a Kung Fu class. Assume the position-Hidden Finger, Screaming Man.

"I found some hard stool," he said. "Yeah, that's where I keep it." What did he think he was going to find? A rabbit? My car keys? I don't get this much action on Saturday night. Buy me a drink, talk dirty to me or something.

I make jokes about this becauses I'm uncomfortable with the exam, but it's important.Here are a few facts you should know:

Prostate cancer accounts for almost half of all newly diagnosed cancers in men each year in the United States.

This disease is the second most fatal cancer in men, second only to lung cancer.

The risk of developing prostate cancer increases with age and it seldom occurs in men before the age of 50.

To learn more go to: www.prostate.com

Do you see why I love this man (in a manly, heterosexual, completely un-creepy way)?

This post was stolen from the blog you should be reading, www.davetown.blogspot.com