"I've never done this before, so I'm really taking a chance here. I always made fun of others that went searching for their dream bar on-line. But, I recently ended a long-term relationship with what was once the bar of my dreams. I'm now looking for a watering hole to fill the lonely void left by my old drinking establishment, who will remain nameless (Keegan's).
Sure, we had our ups and downs. She'd close for no reason...just disappear for a few days, but then her return would make everything all better. Maybe it's her age that has made her hard of hearing, forgetful, and inattentive. Lately, her mood swings and lack of interest in meeting my needs have made it necessary for me to search elsewhere for satisfaction.
All I ask for is a place where my friends and I can gather, drink a cheap beer or twelve, and enjoy a great round of Golden Tee golf. An occasional chicken wing or cheese stick is always appreciated. And a jukebox. Should be within stumbling distance of one of our houses. A deck is always nice. Hmmmmmmmm. Maybe I am high maintenance.
If you think you could be the bar for me please call. I'd love to meet you for a drink.
Until we meet...