Tuesday, March 21, 2006

My Will Updated

As I said in an earlier post I went to Kansas last Friday. Along with all the "visiting" I did while I was there I was able to spend some time with Dave Walker(man) and his new bride Cindy. (He calls her Cid or Sid).

Dave said that he was hurt that I did not leave him anything in my will, so I asked him what he wanted. He said that he wanted the complete Fred Hotline Collection and since he was the only person to make this request, he gets it. (Of course, minus any compromising photos of Scott Nunn and those police sketchs that look like Dr. Bray. I figure that's about half of them. Sorry Dave.)

Scott Nunn gets my early poems, including the original copy of "Squirrel on the Road". You will know that it's the original because I misspelled the word minute. He also get anything with Fred Chappell's autograph. (This includes "The World Between the Eyes" and "The Fred Chappell Reader". ) As far as compromising photos of Scott Nunn, he'll need to look on the internet for them, that's the last place I put them.

To Dr. Bray I leave all copies of the police sketch that looks like him and my ZK. (Boss Lady, that's the toy gun I pull out when you want me to kill spiders in the house. He will need to look around on the floor in the bonus room for red bullets.

Also Mike D. gets the singing Darth Vader. (I put fresh batteries in it because no one wants a new toy with crappy batteries in it.)

My Grandmother's Dolls Scare Me a Little

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Formerly the "This and That" Shoppe

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Mike D Limerick Update

(I've been out of town and just really a lack ass lately so here's another Mike D email until I can get my act together. R.)

"To those who braved the cold, thanks from the heart of my bottom. The rest of you, I could feel your prayers lifting me to limerick heights formerly unknown. The winner of the foosball table was a 65 year old M'coul's regular who sang a reworded Tu-ra-lu-ra-lu-ra. If I had known we could sing, well, who knows what would have transpired. But I'm not bitter. Okay, I'm a little bitter. I've petitioned M'coul's, and hopefully will be able to settle out of court. But, I'm pretty sure that I'm right here. I just assumed that sense the contest was named "M'coul's Limerick Contest" that the entries would be mostly limericks. Well, that's what happens when you make an assumption. You make an ass of you and umption.....or something like that.

I took second place and won an inflatable Guinness chair. Kind of weird having something that takes this long to blow up that you can't have sex with. I guess I can find solice in the fact that I was the top vote getting "limerick".

So, sorry guys...no foosball table, but a new lake toy.

Thanks again for the support.

2nd place winner of the 2006 M'coul's Limerick Contest (beaten by a song)

We all agreed that the Green Burro rules.
So for hours we sat on our stools,
Drinking martinis of gin,
Then gravity kicked in
And we fell down the stairs to M'coul's

The girls said, "hey, this place really rocks.
It's by far the best bar for blocks."
So they had a great time
For they were drunk off their wine.
Plus, they were surrounded by..........a bunch of dudes wearing green.

Mike Davis"

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Happy Saint Patrick's Day from Mike D

Saint Patrick’s Day has long been my favorite holiday. I grew up believing that March 17th was observed primarily because it was my younger brother’s birthday. Incidentally, if you ever have chance to be born on a day that most of the English speaking world celebrates, I highly recommend it. Two years ago, my birthday fell on Super Bowl Sunday. Enjoying all of the people unknowingly joining me for a birthday toast, I realized that my brother experiences this phenomenon every year. It was pretty nifty.

Aside from being the anniversary of my brother’s birth, St. Patrick’s Day is for honoring Saint Patrick’s various religious accomplishments, and as legend has it, for chasing the snakes out of Ireland. Who wouldn’t want to revel in this? Forget the Easter Bunny. I’m for the snake-chasing guy. The good Saint died on March 17th, 460 A.D., which is really ironic. The odds of dying on the holiday named after you have got to be like 1 in 1000.

Most of us don’t know or care why we celebrate. We’re just happy for an opportunity to drink green beer, listen to Patrick Rock, eat some corned beef, and find someone wearing a "kiss me, I’m Irish" button, buy them a few (8) Irish Car Bombs, and propose marriage. These aren’t the only traditions we observe. I have spotty memories of some pinching incidents from my childhood. On this day it was okay to discriminate due to shirt/underwear color and pinch the non-green garbed offenders. After doing an exhaustive amount of research during the last ten minutes, I could find no reference as to why we pinched the green-less. Having no children, I don’t know if the pinching tradition is still practiced. In today’s politically correct climate, I’d imagine that it has taken on less violent forms of ridicule, like pelting with moldy tofu.

A recent movie rental took me down a St Patrick paved memory lane. Last weekend I rented "Waiting". Don’t laugh. It’s a movie anyone who has ever waited tables or eaten in a restaurant should see (DISCLAIMER: Don’t take this advice if you a) have ever sent back a steak, or 2) did not laugh once during The 40 Year Old Virgin). About ninety-eight percent of the movie takes place in a restaurant called Shenanigans. The d├ęcor and logo are so akin to Bennigan’s I can’t believe that a bunch of leprechaun lawyers haven’t gone magically litigious on the producers. Bennigan’s on High Point Road used to be the Saint Patrick’s Day destination.

The parking lot would be filled with tents, bands, and hot chicks wearing green. We always got there early and parked across from Hooter’s, but there were rumors of people who arrived after the St Patrick’s Ball dropped, and had to walk over a mile from where they parked. It was worse than Music in the Park when it’s at Latham.

The old Bennigan’s is now some sort of seafood restaurant, so we’ve had to find other alternatives. Keegan’s is still around. McCoul’s jumped into the fray a few years ago, sparking our downtown renaissance. They celebrate with tents, bands, Irish-ish food and drink. If you would like to try both, cab fare from one to the other is about $6.84. Put six people in the cab and that’s only $1.14 per traveler. Last year, I think one of the Mexican restaurants in town had a big soiree. Or maybe that was Cinco de Mayo. In any case, most restaurants in Greensboro provide an opportunity to take part in the annual debauchery. As you are out and about, try to remember what’s important: don’t drink and drive, snakes are bad, regurgitated green beer stains and most of all, the reason for the season…my little brother’s birthday.

Incidentally, Ireland has never had an indigenous snake; St. Patrick is actually a guy named Maewyn Succat from Scotland, and for all I know, my brother is adopted.

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day.
Michael Davis

Note from Mike D.

If you guys aren't too drunk at 7:30 tomorrow night, swing by M'coul's. One of the limericks I submitted was chosen as one of six finalists, and I've got to read it....I could use some drunk people cheering...

Winner gets a Guinness Foosball table...If I win, you're all welcome to come eat on it, as it will replace my dining room table. D.

Mike Davis

My Will

I will be flying to Kansas on Friday and if anything happens to me I wanted to make sure that the Boss Lady knew who to give all my good stuff to, instead of just throwing in out. Now that I think about it, she may throw it all away while I'm gone.

Scott Nunn gets my early poems, including the original copy of "Squirrel on the Road". You will know that it's the original because I misspelled the word minute. He also get anything with Fred Chappell's autograph. (This includes "The World Between the Eyes" and "The Fred Chappell Reader". ) As far as compromising photos of Scott Nunn, he'll need to look on the internet for them, that's the last place I put them.

To Dr. Bray I leave all copies of the police sketch that looks like him and my ZK. (Boss Lady, that's the toy gun I pull out when you want me to kill spiders in the house. He will need to look around on the floor in the bonus room for red bullets.

Also Mike D. gets the singing Darth Vader. (I put fresh batteries in it because no one wants a new toy with crappy batteries in it.)

Thanks,
Randy

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Mike D Responds to Singing Vader Post

"Thanks, Pal. I tried to put a comment, but you have to be a bloggerer to do so. You may want to rethink this generous bequeathment (yes, I know, not really a word, but if I have to stop using letter combinations that aren't really words, i.e. disfractionalization, my vocabulary will decrease exponentially)...I know how much the wife loves her Star Wars stuff.

p.s. out of context that really makes me sound callous...wasn't there a context?...I don't think I was hoping for you to die soon...in any case, do me a favor and replace the batteries in that thing regularly. Nothing sucks more than getting a new toy with old batteries.

D. "