Monday, March 21, 2005

Put Me in the Fred Hotline

At the height of the Fred Hotline's infamy it had a total circulation of 20 or so copies each week. They were passed out at random to whoever happened to be standing in Guilford's lobby when I got back from Kinkos.

The guys in the dorm would pass them around and often hang them on their walls or post them on their doors.

One thing that never failed to amaze me about this process was the number of people that would beg me to put them in the Fred Hotline. I mean I had guys approach me with story ideas and their own art work.

I was thinking to myself, didn't you see the one were I put Scott's head on the women's body or the one with Jeremy and the pig nose? These guys are my friends and I'm giving them shit, what do you think I'm going to do to you?

Often I'd use a photo of one of those guys. I'd be questioning their sexuality or giving them a stupid quote. (It's important to understand that everyone got the same abuse in this newsletter, including me.)

I was never surprised when they got upset with me. "Why'd you put me in there like that?". I'd asked them what they expected and they'd tell me that they wanted to be doing something cool and I'd tell them that I'd already had J. Scott Nunn burning farts with Randall Jarrell.

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