From the desk of the LDGGO Commissioner

It has been a busy few weeks for the GGO planning committee. It was
learned recently that Chris Brown's liver is alive and well, living in
Aruba. State and Federal authorities are exploring the possibility of
filing criminal insurance fraud charges against the now disgraced
liver. In light of this news, the GGO planning committee has accepted
the offer of the Last Drop Pub in Edinburgh Scotland to be the title
sponsor of this year's GGO, now officially known as the Last Drop
Great Golf Outing or LDGGO. When asked for comment, last year's
champion Chris Brown said "Well. at least it's more politically
correct than the mentally retarded GGO, but I thought the term was now
special needs, not learning disabled... What? Oh yeah, Last Drop works
well, too."

In other news, the committee continues to look at dates. The current
dates for LDGGO play are set for February 5, 6, and 7. Although this
conflicts with the NFL's Super Bowl, many LDGGO competitors felt that
the historical precedent of playing on that weekend was important to
maintain. Said perennial runner up Randy Harris, "Tradition is
everything at the LDGGO. I mean, without tradition we're just a bunch
of guys going to play golf, drink a lot, and ogle Hootresses. Who wants
to see that?" The planning committee has confirmed the weekend of
February 5-7 with all but one of last year's competitors. When reached
for comment, the lone hold out, Chad Ice, released the following
statement through his agent, "Mr. Ice had no knowledge of or role in
the faking of Chris Brown's liver's death. He denies all allegations
and assures his fans that he is innocent of all charges. It would be
inappropriate to comment any further while the investigation is
ongoing."