Dear Dave Walker(man),
I am contacting you today in order to collect on a debt. Back in 1986 you wrote me an I.O.U for one million dollars. I would like it now please. I could really use the money. Among other things, I am seeing a therapist for my hoarding problem. (Who else keeps a post-a-note for 24 years?)
I realize that the I.O.U. was written under duress. I had stolen your teddy bear and refused to return it unless you paid me the sum of one million dollars. I am sure by now the statute of limitations has worn off on that crime. (To be completely honest I’m not sure it’s a crime to kidnap a teddy bear anyway.) But in the interest of being fair I am willing to forfeit any interest on the money and you can just make it an even million.
Thanks for your attention to this matter.
Randy Harris
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