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This is part of my abandoned furniture series. Circa 1990.

Congratulations Spike

The Fred Hotline staff would like to say congratulations to my mother-in-law Spike on her recent hole-in-one. This is the second time she has done this. (What is she trying to prove?)

Kelly and Dave Ride Escalator

I'm not calling her a stalker, but here's Kelly goofing off with Dave on the escalator. (I also had to overcome by fear of escalatoers to take this shot riding backwards.)

Dave and Kelly

Dave Bird poses with Kelly Eakes Harris at the Turner South event held at the Hanes mall.

Val and Randy at the Hanes Mall

Val and Randy hanging out at Hanes mall. I got this picture because I was the only person who knew she was with the dark sunglasses on.

Val Myers and Dave Bird from Turner South's Junkin'

Kelly and I went to Winston-Salem today to meet the hosts of Turner South's Junkin'-Val Myers and Dave Bird. Val and Dave were both very cool and friendly and we had a great time bugging them for photos.

Return of the Racket

The racket has returned. This photo was sent in by Dr. Weeks. The thing I love about this photo is the picture of J.D Salinger hanging up behind S. When did we stop thinking like this. Maybe we carry a picture of Salinger inside us now.

Carl Wilson Update

The staff of the Fred Hotline caught up with Carl Wilson and asked him if he could ID the woman in this photo standing next to him. He had this to say:

"Yes, as a matter of fact I can, reluctantly, ID that woman. Her name is Ivana Tules, an ice princess from hell who took me for all of the free lunches and cheap beer I willingly handed over.

A perpetual tease, the last I saw of her was a slender pale leg as she slipped out the window onto the fire escape of my second floor brownstone on Walker Avenue early one morning in the spring of 1988. With her went my meal card (three punches left), the five dollars and odd change leftover from the previous night's drunken pinball marathon at College Hill and my favorite black INXS t-shirt."

Bo's Meats and Things

I know it's a little soon to be hinting about Christmas presents, but something from Bo's Meats and Things would be great.

Tiny Dancers

For the sake of alliteration, why could it be "Tiny Tina" and Lucious Lacy?

This One's for Spike

This one is for my mother-in-law who is always asking me to get a picture of all three of our cats sitting together. This is the best I could do without using duct tape.(Watch out George is going to burn you with his laser eyes.)

Zelda and Her Mother Enjoy the Pool

Dr. S. Wright Weeks with baby Zelda.

How COULD you? How could you put my ass up there in a bikini for the entire world to see? If you wanted to put a picture up, my God, you must have hundreds there! I mean, it's wonderful that Zelda has made her world-wide debut, but Randy, THAT picture of ME? (Carson's sitting in the floor in here saying, "Why do you keep making those faces?" Why, indeed!)

Congratulations to Kevin and Laura

Congratulations are in order for 1998-99 Greensboro Jaycee President Kevin von der Lippe and Laura Wood as they became engaged on Friday, August 19, 2005 at 7:23 pm at a romantic bed and breakfast in Wilmington, NC.The couple met at a Greensboro Jaycee Dinner Club meeting 53 weeks ago. Kevin says that Laura is now in charge.

Neal Boortz Book Signing

Here's my one alotted Neal Boortz photo.

Tigger walks into a Bar

So an angel, a nun and Tigger walk into a bar...

Hot Chicks on the Hotline

As far as captions, I've got nothing. It never hurts to have a couple of hot chicks on your blog to keep people coming back.

Neal Boortz Book Signing

I went to the Neal Boortz booking signing held at the Friendly Center Barnes & Noble on Sunday, Aug. 14. As an English major at UNCG I attended many book signings and readings, but this was very different.

For one thing, there were a lot of rules. You had to pay for your book in advance, which I can understand, and you had to have a colored sheet of paper in order to stand in line. You also had to have your book flap turned to the correct page and we were all instructed that there would be signing only, "no personalizations". Neal Boortz himself explained that it would take too long to do that and he had a 6:15pm flight home.

As far as photographs-You could take a picture of the author while he was signing your book in an impersonalized way. This photo could not be taken with others. There was an armed police officer there to make sure these rules were followed and to prevent and gun play. (Never seen a police man at a book signing.)

I was luck to get a purple slip of paper which meant that there were only 200 people ahead of me.

It was called a "Discussion & Signing", but I didn't hear any discussion. Boortz came out right on time at 3:00pm and started working the crowd. He said if your buying a copy for President Bush, don't bother-he already has a copy. He told a story about a lady that contacted him that had just returned from a private tour of Air Force One and she said she saw a copy of The FairTax Book on the president's desk.

Do you remember the scene in A Christmas Story when Ralphie goes to see santa? That's how it was with me and Boortz. I wanted an hour and a half and when I got up there I froze. I wanted to tell him I enjoyed his show or ask him a question about his plan's prebate, but nothing. I handed him my two books, he scribbled in them and I moved away.

I'm not sure if I'm sold on the Fair Tax plan or not. I think it would be fun to drive to Washington, DC and march on the mall.

Poop!

Poop!

Art from a Can

Just because it was done with a spray can doesn't mean it's not art.

Fred Hotline Staff Removes Offensive Post

The staff of the Fred Hotline would like to apologize to Mr. Robby B. for the post on Wed. April 13, 2005 that showed Mr. B passed out in a toliet stall. He did not feel that this portrayal was fair as you can tell from the following email.

"Dude,

I was browsing the Hotline and saw myself laying in the urinal and boy it brought back some great memories. I miss wallowing in other peoples urine after a hard night of drinking. Can you come over tomorrow and piss in my floor so I can relax in it for old times sake?

Thanks pal,
Robby"

We would like to state for the record that the photo was removed minutes after receiving this email and that no one from the FH staff took Mr. B up on his offer to "piss on this floor."

Here we see Scott making sure our collection of putt-putt and Arby's cups get clean. Look at all that food on the shelf behind him. How did we manage to stay so fat? 

Ah, to be young, drunk and sunburned. 

Robby Bryant Online

Go check out Robby Bryant's homepage- www.thebryantsonline.com

Create Your Own Caption Contest 

Dave Walkerman Chilling with Broken Wing

Dave Walkerman has a cast on his wrist in almost every photo I have of him. Here was see him in his stone washed jeans. Circa 1990. As I remember he was in Winston-Salem to go to court. Pony Express, witness for the defense or something. As I remember he never took the stand.

Birth Announcement Correction

Birth Announcement Correction- Logan Michael Miles was born 11 pounds and 2 ounces-measuring 23 1/4 inches long. (Not 23 pounds as was ealier reported.)

Gumby Attacks Greensboro

Gumby attacks down town Greensboro moments after the beer and wine sales were cut off at the ball park.

Birth Announcement

Mike and Lisa Miles are pleased to announce the arrival of their son Logan Michael Miles on July 7, 2005 at 2:53 pm. He weighed 23 1/4 pounds and was 11 inches long.